Released September 1995

Tracks:

1. KW Jesus TV Roof Appeal (3.58)
2. Bad Jazz (3.05)
3.Too Handsome Too Be Homeless (3.24)
4. Steam Train (2.36)
5. Bad Shave (3.18)
6 .Oh My God You’re A King (2.52)
7. The Restaurant Is Guilty (1.49)
8. Valerie (2.16)
9. Shop Girl (3.41)
10. W.B.T. (3.54)
11. Hate Song (2.16)
12. 45 & Fat (2.41)
13. Sha Na Na (2.41)
14. Bug In A Breeze (3.55)
15. It’s Okay (2.27)
16. Happy Bus (2.30)
17. Swinging From Tree To Tree (2.35)
18. Why (2.36) (CMYBX560/2 only)
19. Past Lasts Longer (3.13) (CMYBX560/2 only)

Total Playing length: 49.59 min.

Catalogue numbers:

UK CD: BABY BIRD CD2
UK LP: BABY BIRD LP2
UK CD: CMYBX560/2 (Original Lo-Fi Box)

Sleevenotes

CHANNELS, WOLF WHISTLES, HOLD-ALLS, TOWNIE
GIRLS, THE MOON CAFE, FIRM HOLD GEL, BOYS,
THE ICE RINK, POP, MR & MRS,
GANGS OF TWENTY, BOTTLES OF OLD COUNTRY,
LANDLORDS, DOVEDALE, FLOCK WALLPAPER,
TAKEAWAYS, CITY CENTRES, DONCASTER WINE
BAR THE OLD BULL AND PUMP, BARGES,
SHOPPING TROLLEYS, LIVERPOOL, MARKET
STALLS, STOUT, CRIMSON DRAPES, FAKE LOG
FIRES, ALWAYS RAINING, COSY, TEA POTS,
LOVELY 125S, FOTHERGILL, TOAST, BELFAST, NO
STYLE, MARGARINE, CHURCHES, PADLOCKS,
STARLINGS, PLASTIC BAGS, PUBLIC ART, THREE
STAMPS, NO TOILETS, COBBLERS, STILETTOS,
GLITTER, VOLUME, COLOUR, CONTRAST,
COATHANGERS, SKYDISH, BURST MAINS
SANDLACRE, Y.I., TRUCKSTOPS, OH MY GOD,
WEDGE HAIR, DUCKS, YOUNG MOTHERS,
SHOPPER’S PARADISE, WHITE BREAD, BITTER,
CORTINAS, TWENTY YEARS OLDS, MOUSTACHES,
BIKE PUMPS, CHIPS AND PEAS, VINEGAR, 3 PIN
PLUGS, TEN PENCE CRISPS, CO-OP STAMPS, MACS,
SHOVELS, WALKING STICKS, SHOPPING CENTRES,
DEBBIE, TWO BOB, ARGOS, DUSTBIN, ONE POUND
BEER, NEWCASTLE, CAPS, BERMUDA SHORTS,
TRIPLES, ESCALATORS, STREET CORNERS, GIFT
MACHINES, ORANGE LIGHTS, BROWN SAUCE,
PASTEL, RAY COONEY, BARRY NOBLE, NOTHING
TO DO, RITZYS SEGS, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS,
BENEDORM, FIVE PENCE CALLS, HULL, TETLEYS,
THE OLD ANGEL, A LACK OF PLEASURE FOR WOMEN,
SMALL BUSINESS, HALIFAX TRAIN STATION, 40 WATT,
MILLS, SNOW ON THE BEACH, CARAVANS, TRAILERS,
GB STICKERS, PLAYGROUNDS, MIX’N’MATCH, RED QUIRRELS,
CHILBLAINS, BUS CONDUCTORS, TRAMLINES,
SECONDHAND EVERYTHING, PIZZALAND MUSIC,
SPIRES, FLAPJACKS, RASPBERRY LIPSTICK,
SKEGNESS DONKEYS, SMALL GIRLS, PIGTAILS,
TONGUES, YELLOW LOVEBITES, JUMPERS,
SAVE THE CHILDREN, WHAM LADYBIRDS, RAKES,
BRICK TOILETS, CLOCKS FORWARD, FARMERS,
CHIMNEYS, COMFORTABLE CHAIRS, CUSHIONS,
MUSTARD, WOOD SEATS, BURNLEY,
THE ALHAMBRA, BILLS, GARDEN SHEDS, BRUSSEL
SPROUTS, YARDS, TIMEX, LAMB, SHEEPDOGS,
MUSIC CENTRES, STONE FENCES, PIGEONS, BAD FEET,
OLD HOMES, THE KING’S HEAD, MOCK
TUDOR, GRANDMA, NUMBER SIX CIGARETTES,
CARSEAT SMELL, TWIN PRAMS, FREE PARKING,
CUT GRASS, JACK RUSSELL, KIWI BOOT POLISH,
BREATFAST BARS, NO SILENCE, FOG, WHISTLING KETTLES,
SUNBURST, SHAGPILE, COCONUT MATS, DREAM HOLIDAY,
KEN DODD’S HAPPINESS, CANDYFLOSS,
THE DOLPHINARIUM, NINETY NINE PENCE, NO CHANGE,
FOOTBALL STANDS, CLOUDS, THE END OF THE PIER,
GLOVES, SPIRIT LEVELS, SUNDAY EVENING, STEAM
PUDDING, WORK, FIVE PAST FIVE, PUDDLES, DADS,
SCARVES, K-TEL, COLA, LUCKY DIP, LOOSE SLABS,
BARBER’S POLES, SEASIDE ROCK, BAD HAIRCUTS, 021
FOR BIRMINGHAM, COLD BEEF, STARCH, BEE STINGS,
CARAVANS, SLEEPING BAGS, CARDBOARD BOXES,
ACORNS, SLEDGES, TRIKES, ALFRETON & MANSFIELD
PARKWAY, JAM SANDWICHES, SATURDAY TELEVISION,
GOING OUT, RACING BIKES, WELLINGTONS,
THE FIRST TIME, THERMOS, SCAFFOLDING, NO SUMMER,
RACING BIKES, CHEAP TIES, MOTIFS, DRUNK,
THICK SOCKS, DAFFODILS, GOLD TOP, SHELL, SHIPSTONES, NAILCLIPPERS,
SALE SINGS, JOHN SMITH, SALLY JONES, HUMPBACK BRIDGE, BROOKS,
OAK TREES, GRATES WOOL, COOLING TOVERS,
FAT GLOVES, WAITING ROOMS, DRILLS, ROAD MAPS,
PLUNGERS, TOMATO SOUP, SPONGE CAKE, ALL-DAY BREAKFAST,
SAT IN THE COUNTRY AS NERVOUS AS ICE IN CHEAP COLA

What you have here is the 2nd collection of – musically illiterate four-track recordings.
This is the 2nd lead feather to fall from the sane and centred world of Baby Bird One man, nine fingers, great songs
Copyright 1995 Babybird Bird Recordings

Lyrics

These were all transcriped by Mark B. for his Hate Songs website.

KW Jesus Roof Appeal

“Hi, you’re listening to the Nervous eyes and sheep corner show. (?) The name’s Dave Christ, the brother that Jesus forgot.
I want you to put your hands in your pants, feel around, smile a little bit, bring out something to shine, put it in an envelope, and send it to me at KW Jesus TV, and we’ll get this roof back on my house… Damn! Shit! … on the church.”
Little child of Jesus sit up on my knee.
Tune into your daddy on the big TV.
Little child of Jesus don’t you want to be free?
Little child of Jesus to get up out of that tree?
It might be a single franc or a thousand pounds,
but every little bit counts if we’re going to get this roof back on the church.

Little child of Jesus take a look around.
Can you hear you father if he doesn’t make a sound?
Put your hands in my heart take me every pound.
Little child of Jesus I’m coming into town.
7Tune me on the dial, Radio heaven bound.

We might be locked all day in all the big cities but we do this for the sake of the undesirables because if you ain’t got a roof then they won’t have shelter and besides, the roof can be much prettier than the sky.
You can have little gold angels, but always keep your eyes level, not up.
The Lord is all around of you.

Little child of Jesus sit up on my knee.
Tune into your daddy on the big TV.
Little child of Jesus don’t you want to be free?
Little child of Jesus to get our christmas tree?
Little child of Jesus take a look around.
Can you hear you father if he doesn’t make a sound?
Put your hands in my heart take me for every pound.
Little child of Jesus I’m coming into town.

It might be a single grape, (?)
could even be ten pounds
but every little bit counts, ladies and gentlemen, to get this roof back on the foundation of civilization.

Keep the rain off your devotion. Keep the rain off your devotion.
Keep the rain off your devotion. Keep the rain off your devotion.
Keep the rain off your devotion. Keep the rain off your devotion.
Keep the rain off your devotion. Keep the rain off your devotion.

I am watching you. I am the almighty.
‘Every move you make’ ain’t no pop song.
It’s me watching the lead on the roof but it ain’t going anywhere.
So put your hands in your pants, pawn your TV if you have to,
buy a cheaper one and use the difference to build this roof and keep the rain off your devotion.
Keep the rain off your devotion and in this way you will find a

Little child of Jesus sit up on my knee.
Tune me into your daddy on the big TV.
Put your hands in my heart take me for every pound.
Little child of Jesus I’m coming into town.
Little child of Jesus sit me on the ground.
Tune me on the dial to Radio Heaven Bound.

Bad Jazz

You ain’t no Charlie Bird man.
This is the worst jazz I ever heard, man.
Trying to come on like John Coltrane.
You’re a white stain on black name.
Like bad jazz, Cheese on a hot day.
East 17, Vanilla Ice, that ain’t nice!
You ain’t pop popular, man.
Pop world’s like an old empty molasses can.
Twenty white kids kicking ’round a basketball courtBad jazz, like cheese on a hip hop day, bad jazz.
You ain’t no Charlie nothin’ man.
You’re more like Charlie Brown, man.
That’s all white right, right, white, right, man.
Like forty-one and that ain’t white light.

Bad jazz, bad ass jazz
B A D J A Z Z Z Top. Viva Las Vegas*
What the hell’s that?
That’s right, bad jazz, right white man.
Mmm Yeah.

I ain’t no Brooklyn queen
but at least I ain’t Heaven 17
I don’t talk like that man.
I’m white, right, white, right, light white man, yeah.

Bad jazz Bad jazz.
You ain’t no Charlie Bird, man.
This is the worst jazz I ever heard, man.
Trying to come on like John Coltrane.
You’re more like Audrey Middleton, man. (?)

Bad jazz, jazz, jazz,
Too Handsome to be Homeless

I’m always happy I’m never sad.
The world’s a wonderful place and I’m glad.
I’m always happy I’m never sad.
The world’s a wonderful place and I’m glad.
I’m always happy I’m never sad.
The world’s a wonderful place and I’m glad.
I’m always happy I’m never sad.
The world’s a wonderful place and I’m glad.
Because I’m too handsome to be homeless,
to handsome to be homeless that’s me.
Too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless.

I’m as ugly as sin but I’m too handsome to be homeless.
We gave you wheelie bins.
To pull the roof over your unhappiness
I’m driving round in a black British Rover
I’m the fourth petal torn off your clover.
I’m the first man since we took over.
to build your house with a bulldozer

On every corner on every street.
Everyone I see I love to meet.
They look so beautiful,m their lives complete.
I feel in step with their happy feet.

‘Cause I’m too handsome to be homeless,  too handsome to be homeless,
to handsome to be homeless that’s me.
Too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless.

Can’t you see it, this wonderful thing?
It links us all like a wedding ring,
I’m married to you, you’re married to me
with a billion people in our family,

I’m too handsome to be homeless,  too handsome to be homeless,
to handsome to be homeless that’s me.
I’m too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless.
I’m too handsome to be homeless,  too handsome to be homeless,
to handsome to be homeless that’s me.
too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be homeless,
too handsome to be spineless
too handsome to be an M.P.
Steam Train

Is that a tear in you eye or just another bomb dropping?
Please don’t give up on us baby because I’m not stopping.
I love you like a steam train, baby.
I love you like a steam train.
I love you like a steam train, baby.
I love you like a steam train.

Is that a suitcase in your hand?
Or just a black box that fell from the plane that crashed when I met you?

I love you with a slight neck strain.
I love you like a steam train, baby.
I love you like a steam train.
I love you like a steam train, baby.
I love you like a steam train.

I love you like a Steam train, fresh rain, a fleshy brain, a great Dane,
Michael Cain, a burst main, tea strain.

Come back, come back, I love you like a steam train.
Come back, come back, I love you like a steam train.
Bad Shave

It’s time to come down form your spire,
Jesus come back you’re a liar.
I’ve covered the church in fish-wire.
We’ll know you’re here like hellfire, like hellfire.
Da, da, da da da da, da da da dah.

If we hear the trip in the aisle,
turn on the lights with a big smile,
but there’s no beautiful child,
it’s tea leaves* with the roof tiles.

We go on home with the radio on.
Tune into paradise on the longwave.
For a millionth time a born-again song
rings out like a bad shave.

Bad shave. Bad shave.

It’s time to come down form your spire,
Jesus come back you’re a liar.
I’ll cover the church in fish wire,
We’ll know you’re here like hellfire, like hellfire.
We’ll know you’re here like hellfire, like hellfire, like hellfire.
We’ll know you’re here like hellfire.
Oh my God you’re a King

You said you were a queen,
but I looked under your dress then you were a king.
But I’m not choosy, I’m not choosy,
I’m not bruisy over this,
I’m not choosy, I’m not bruising over this.
You said you were a queen,
with the best of manners,
but I looked under your dress
and started to sing in a funny voice:
“Oh my god your a king,
oh my god your a king, oh my god your a king, your a king
Oh my god your a king,
oh my god your a king, oh my god your a king, your a king.

Hold my hand like a Jack in a pacamac under the rain.
Look into my eyes and I believe I’m a beautiful fella’ with a big black umbrella.
I’ll keep you out of the rain and keep your dress dry.
I won’t tell anyone that you’re a king.
Come with me, come with me, come with me onto the throne.
Come with me, come with me, come with me onto the throne.
Give you a trombone and you can drone away all you like nobody can complain or write about you.
Make your own noise, make your own toys, make everything you’d ever need, have your own garden, just enjoy life,
be your own king for a day.

The Restaurant is Guilty

My favourite restaurant, and the restaurant is guilty of making me put on weight, I can’t resist, the food, huh. My favourite restaurant, and the restaurant is guilty of making me put on weight, I can’t resist, the food, huh. I can’t resist, the food, huh. I can’t resist, I can’t resist, I can’t resist, the food, huh. My favourite restaurant, and the restaurant is guilty of making me put on weight, I can’t resist, the food, huh. I can’t resist, the food, huh. I can’t resist, the food, huh.  I can’t resist, I can’t resist, I can’t resist, the food, huh.  I can’t resist, the food, huh.  I can’t resist, the food, huh.  I can’t resist, I can’t resist, I can’t resist, the food, huh.

Valerie

I burnt off every calorie making love to Valerie.
I gave her all my salary so why won’t she marry me?
Oh Valerie, you’re like a gallery,
my little cart of modern art.
Oh Valerie, I’m such a dote,
Marry me, Valerie.

I’ll be your pony,
If you’ll be my Valerie.
Giddy up, away, loneliness.
Please, will you marry me?
Oh valerie, will you marry me?
Please say you will.

Oh Valerie, you’re like a gallery,
my little cart of modern art.
Oh Valerie, I’m such a goat,
Hang me with your rope.

Valerie, Valerie.

I know I can be a bit of a tart sometimes,
but I’ll give you my heart for my crimes.
So please, Valerie, be my blowpipe,
and I’ll be your poison dart.

Oh Valerie, you’re like a gallery,
my little cart of modern art.
Oh Valerie, I’m such a dote.
Marry me, Valerie.

Shop Girl

“Lord save me from misguided devotion, bring me salvation, throw a nintendo down the flu, so father can wrap it in ‘it’s a boy it’s a girl’ gift paper.”
Shop girl, oh shop girl,
Shop girl, where are you tonight?
If you come with me, I’ll show something lovely.
If you come for me, I’ll be like baby.

Big world, oh big world,
Big world, where are you tonight?
If you turn for me, forty five and thirty three.
If you spin for me, I’ll be able to jump you.

Daydream, daydream,
Daydream, where are you tonight?
If you dream for me, I’ll sleep with you.
If you dream for me, I’ll come to your rescue.

Kiss curl, Oh kiss curl
Kiss curl, where are you tonight?
If I cut your hair, Then you know I’ll care.
You’ll never see me bare, I’ll always wear my underwear.

Giro, Oh Giro,
Giro, Where are you this morning?
If I had some money, I’d take you somewhere funny.
If I had some money, I’d take you where it’s sunny.

W.B.T.

(Can you hear my heart beating, tonight)
In a club called Oh No, we murdered white boy techno.
In a club called Here We Go Again, we pulled the plugs on so-so,
we pulled the plugs on so-so, we pulled the plugs…

In a bag from Littlewoods, we buried the rests ####
In a club called called Tombstone, we ####

Now a light shines on the ground
Like the moon on a sundial
Points to two O’Clock
When the drug just starts to smile.
The drug just starts to smile.

No waiting now,
You dive into your studio.
Push a button on the Amstrad (Mr. Sugar)
and witness the joy of techno

In a club called Oh No, we murdered white boy techno.
In a club called Here We Go Again, we pulled the plugs on so-so,
In a club called Oh No, we murdered white boy techno.
In a club called Here We Go Again, we pulled the plugs on so-so,
We pulled the plugs, we pulled the plugs, we pulled the plugs on techno.

In a club called Oh No, we murdered white boy techno.
In a club called Here We Go Again, we pulled the plugs on so-so,
In a club called Oh No, we murdered white boy techno.
In a club called Here We Go Again, we pulled the plugs on so-so. So-so. So-so.
We murdered white boy techno.

Hate Song

Gonna teach the world to sing again,
Gonna teach the world to sing again.

Hey pretty baby,
Do you know any hate songs,
Do you know any hate songs we could sing?
Hey pretty baby,
Do you know any hate songs,
Do you know any hate songs we could sing?

Because I’m drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs with love.
I’m drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs with this natural caffeine called love.

Is there something we could sing together,
that would kill off love forever?
Is there something we could sing forever,
that would make us so very clever?

But I’m drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs with love.
But I’m drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs,
drugged up to the eyeballs with love.

45 and Fat

C O C A C O L A C O C A C O LA
I’ll sing about love ’til I’m 45 and fat.
I’ll take almost anything, but I won’t take that.
You can tie me up in knots, but I’ll keep on coming.
You can take away my voice, but I’ll keep on humming.

C O C A C O L A C O C A C O L A

Sing about love, ’til I’m 45 and fat.
I’ll take almost anything but I won’t take that.
‘Til I turn blue, sing, singing about love.
I’ll take any old tat, but I won’t take that.

So teach the world to sing.
You all know the words, so sing along, sing along, sing along.

C O C A C O L A C O C A C O L A

Sha Na Na

Why does it feel so fine to feel the sun on my burning skin?
I look up and the world starts to sing
Wigwam, big bang*, sing-song, singalong, shamalanga-ding-dong, too long,
Hong Kong, big car, too far, la la, sha na na na na, sha na, sha na.

It may be cold outside but on my face there’s a smile.
I can see a hole in the sky that’s as wide as a mile.

Big wars, old bores, no doors, bus tours, wham bam, egg and ham, sham-a-lam-a-ramadan,
oh no, bright star, wah wah, sha na na na sha na na na na.
Sha na na na na na na, sha na na sha na na na na na, na na na na na, sha na na na na na na, sha na.

 Bug in a Breeze

Like a bug in the breeze,
like a tree without leaves,
like a leg without knees,
I don’t need you.
Turning point in my life,
a beautiful gorgeous wife.
Cupped hand without dice,
I don’t need you.

A drink without a sip,
trousers without a zip,
a whole day without kip,
I don’t need you.

Like a bulb without light,
like a 24 hour night,
like a sun that ain’t bright,
I don’t need you. I don’t need you.

I don’t need you. I don’t need you. I don’t need you.

Like a cow without a bull,
like a glass that’s half full,
like beer you can’t pull,
I don’t need you.

Like sight without eyes,
like a body without thighs,
like me without mys,
I don’t need you.

Like a house without love,
like a heart without blood.
No below without above,
I don’t need you.

I don’t need you. I don’t need you.
I don’t need you. I don’t need you.

Like a man without teeth,
like leather without beef,
like Harris without Keith*,
I don’t need you.

Like film without frames,
like a head without a brain,
like tracks without a train,
I don’t need you.

Like a John without a Wayne,
Like a collar without a stain,
Saddam without Hussein,
I don’t need you. I don’t need you.

I don’t need you. I don’t need you.
I don’t need you. I don’t need you.
I don’t need you.

Like wings without a plane,
space travel without the strain,
like crops without the rain,
I don’t need you.

Don’t need you, I don’t need you. I don’t need you.

Like food without a smell,
Heaven without Hell,
a church without a bell,
I don’t need you.

Like a tongue without a lick,
leaning boy (atom bomb (?)) without a stick,
time without a click,
I don’t need you.
It’s Okay

Take her out, drive a hole in my heart on the phone.
By the sea on the swings I would give her everything.
Making out with my girl, spin around like the world.
Like a cloud in the sky, break apart and then I cry,
break apart and then I cry, I cry.

Kiss her neck, hold her waist,
I love the way her fingers taste.
Let me go, make her come, tie her hair in a bun.

Making out fa la la la la
Making out with my girl, spin around like the world,
Like a cloud in the sky, break apart and then I cry.

Take her out, drive a hole in my heart on the phone.
By the sea on the swings I would give her all my things, all my things.

Meet her father, meet her mum.
Watch the family raise their thumb.
I kiss her lips, they look away, clear my throat and say it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK.

Happy Bus

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Everything’s just dandy.
No need to cuss.
Pack up your worries
and get on the happy bus.
There’s no need to hurry.
There’s a seat for us.
The driver’s a friendly man.
We all call him Russ.

Don’t know where we’re going
Don’t know the destination
But when we all get there
I’ll make a reservation
I’ll make a reservation
I’ll make a reservation
for a double room and shower.
Booked under ‘Me and Mrs. jones’
Taking a beautiful holiday
with our erogenous zomes

I’ll take out a thousand loans for you baby.
I’ll install a cordless phone for you.
And then maybe with in each hand an ice cone,
we could sway on home, sway on home, sway on home
in our happy bus
Just you and me and Russ
In our happy bus
In our happy bus

Get on the happy bus.
There’s a seat for us, for us, sor us, for us.

Swinging from Tree to Tree

The buildings have risen and poked out my eyes,
the clouds are black and I see rain all the time
and I’m left here in my mind.
I’m left here in my mind.
Swinging from tree to tree
Singing ’til my head bleeds.
Swinging from tree to tree
Singing ’til my throat bleeds.

The sky is falling.
It lies around my feet.
Shoulders heavy on my mind like a bad sleep.
and I’m left here in my mind.
and I’m left here in my mind.

Swinging from tree to tree
Singing ’til my throat bleeds.
Stinging my heart like a bee
Ringing you up at Six.

Seed stuck in my hand.
Aware of CFC and WD40
And I’m left here with the chickens in the fields.
I’m left here in my mind.

Swinging from tree to tree
Singing ’til my throat bleeds.